Sonic Budd…uh? Remix, Aisle 9 Yesterday at the grocery store, the music had been switched from adult alternative to electro trance programming. Instead of hearing “Rolling in the Deep” for the Adele-ienth time, in its place was Armin Van Buuren’s meticulously uplifting “Going Wrong.” I found myself locked in, swaying lil boobuddha‘s stroller forward and back. Chris Jones’ chorus rang as we picked out some goat cheese, on the beat. Realizing that if we took too much time a dubstep attack could rain down like hellfire, we picked up a step and proceeded toward checkout.

What happened next was worse than the darkest, most soulless Skrillex mash-up ever foisted upon the ears. That cottamn tooting “Barbara Streisand” song came on. Concern for the clerks’ sanity rushed to prominence in big boobuddha‘s culturally nurturing mind (this is an understatement — we flashed upon visions of future conniptions). Sure, context makes it seem a perfect soundtrack, right? The producers take their name from Duck Sauce — a product sold in that very store, after all!

For someone on an 8-hour shift,  though, that bombast could be tough to listen to as many times as we reckon likely. We also recognize the plausible scenario wherein these folks just survived the Holiday Tunes 24-7 Retail Massacre and have developed a seasonal resistance to obnoxious sonics. Just in case they are not so inured, the next time your produce section sounds like a rave, have some sympathy for the employees and slow your roll.

About Suzanne

Suzanne touts an MFA from Southern Methodist University, an Online Marketing specialization from more than 8 years of heavy lifting, an honorary "best mommy" award from her son Zen and a NYC triathlete completion certificate. She is a women's rights activist and humanitarian, believing in equal rights for everyone.
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